National Jejunum Day

Since we are in that dead time of year between the Super Bowl and the NCAA Final Four, I'm taking the liberty to declare today as National Jejunum Day.

You may recall that the gall bladder dumps bile into the duodenum that connects your tummy to your jejunum. Well, your jejunum connects your duodenum to your ileun and is that squiggly thing that is kind of like the headwaters of your great intestinal river system (jejunum -> ileum -> cecum -> colon -> sigmoid flexure -> rectum) that empties what's left of what you ate last evening back into the earth's ecosystem by way of your arse, unless, of course, you drank too much and/or the food was poisoned, in which case what you ate and/or drank reversed its course and never got as far as your jejunum anyhow, even though, at the moment of its unwelcomed reappearance through your nose and mouth, you probably wished that it had taken the risk of having gone through normal channels, including your jejunum, anyhow.

But, I digress.

The jejunum just doesn't seem to get the attenion it deserves these days of the iPod and flat screen television sets. Even it's name derives from the Latin word, jejunus, meaning empty, dry, barren. It just lays there doing its thing, dealing with bile and Big Macs and whatever other bilge happens to come its way, without any attention whatsoever from anyone until something goes horribly wrong and a jejumum surgeon performs a jejunectomy or jejunostomy. Most folks, I'll bet you a dollar to a donut hole, don't even know they have a jejunum. I know I didn't know, not until National Flush Your Gall Bladder Week brought it to my attention.

So go forth and spread the word about jejuni to all your friends and neighbors. Oh, and remember to send me $10 to support the National Jejunum Foundation in their all important effort to figure out things like just what the heck the jejunum is doing down there in the first place and exactly how many Martinis a day are good for it. I'll make certain that your kind contribution is put to a very good use. Honest.

PS: For a $25 donation, we'll send you a full-color lithographic quality reproduction of your jejujum suitable for framing. Callers are standing by.

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