The Menu

While I've been in a bunch of barbecue joints over the years but I've never paid much attention to their menus. My standard "evaluation" order, you understand, was a sandwich with slaw, hush puppies and sweetea. Now, it seems, I need to pay attention to menus and everything else.

So, naturally, I scoped out a barbecue joint at lunch today. It wasn't one of my favorites but it does have some great customer traffic. The place was far more complicated than what I envision.

My right brain is screaming "Classical!" and I think that is right. That means you walk up to a central location to place your order and the customer pays in cash before the order is prepared. The price, rounded to the nearest quarter, includes the sales tax. No cash register. Perfect!

My left brain is screaming "KISS!" and I think that is also right. That means a limited menu with everything served up in a white paper sack with disposable trays, napkins, cups, etc. Eat in or take out, it's all one and the same. No wait staff, no dish washer. No tips. Perfect!

So just what is on the menu? Well, a barbecue pit cooks yardbird just as easily as a pork shoulder. So, I'm thinking both chicken and pork barbecue. Maybe hot dogs or sausages, too. Then you need slaw, baked beans, tater sallit, hush puppies and, of course, sweetea. Maybe some soda pop in cans. Coffee for sure. And, naturally, banana pudding for desert. So here's the menu:

Sandwiches
  • Sunset Ridge Pulled Pork Sandwich
  • Cherry Lane Hot Dogs

    Trays
  • Sunset Ridge Pulled Pork Tray (Q, slaw, hush puppies)
  • Peach Bottom Mountain Chicken Tray (Quarter chicken white or dark, slaw, hush puppies)

    Plates
  • Sunset Ridge Pulled Pork Plate (Q, slaw, beans or tater sallit, hush puppies)
  • Peach Bottom Mountain Chicken Plate (Half chicken, slaw, beans or tater sallit, hush puppies)

    Bulk:
  • Sunset Ridge Pulled Pork by the Pound
  • Whole Peach Bottom Mountain Chicken

    Sides:
  • Blue Ridge Mountain Baked Beans
  • Twin Oaks Tater Sallit
  • Whitehead Barbecue Slaw
  • Roaring Gap Hush Puppies
  • Grandma's New River Nanner Puddin'
  • Dave's Famous TOP SECRET® "Slap Your Momma" Brand Barbecue Sauce & Chigger Remover

    Drinks:
  • Laurel Springs Sweetea
  • Pine Swamp Deluxe Coffee
  • Assorted Sodas

    Man, I'm getting hungry just looking at the menu.

    PS: Right Brain was thinking Air Bellows Baked Beans but fortunately Left Brain prevailed in this case.

    PPS: The sauce is called "Slap Your Momma" sauce because it is so good that it could make you lose your mind and want to slap your Momma. But, naturally, you would never actually do such a thing as that.
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