The Good News Gazette: Issue 7

It didn't take long for me to find some good news in the News & Observer this morning. Seems that yesterday a law suit was filed for the 20,000th time this year in the Wake County courts. There being about 2000 lawyers in Wake County, that comes to an average of 10 suits filed for every lawyer. And, there being about 800,000 residents of Wake County, that comes to a law suit for every 40 people living in the county. Further, considering that it takes two to tango in a law suit, that means an average of one in every 20 people living in the county either sued someone or was sued by someone this year (so far).

The good news? I was neither the plaintiff nor the defendant in any of 'em!

Twenty thousand law suits? It took 21 clerks just to file them and the courts will hire two more next summer.

Shoot the lawyers, I say. Or, better yet, polish up the dueling pistols and let the lawyers stand in as surrogates! That should reduce the number of law suits filed (and thereby the number of lawyers needed) by 99.44%.