Extra! Extra! Santa Is Dead
Sad but true. The untimely death of Santa Claus came last Friday in Raleigh, NC according to the Noise & Disturber obits.
Seems that during the off season Santa had been a college professor using the pseudonym of Dr. John V. Battram III while teaching at University of Wisconsin - Whitewater until his retirement in 1990. Thereafter, Battram ... er ... Santa ... devoted full time to a professional life of listening to the wishes of little boys and girls and delivering lots of toys on Christmas Eve with the aid of his sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, and Dunder and Blixem.
It was quite a shock for me to learn that Santa was a mortal being. I had unthinkingly assumed that he remained the same ageless self season after season. Apparently eating all those cookies and drinking all that milk just one night a year takes a toll on the health and well being of the Rotund One.
Santa, it seems, is survived by a son but whether the junior Claus will follow in his father's footsteps is unknown.
Seems that during the off season Santa had been a college professor using the pseudonym of Dr. John V. Battram III while teaching at University of Wisconsin - Whitewater until his retirement in 1990. Thereafter, Battram ... er ... Santa ... devoted full time to a professional life of listening to the wishes of little boys and girls and delivering lots of toys on Christmas Eve with the aid of his sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, and Dunder and Blixem.
It was quite a shock for me to learn that Santa was a mortal being. I had unthinkingly assumed that he remained the same ageless self season after season. Apparently eating all those cookies and drinking all that milk just one night a year takes a toll on the health and well being of the Rotund One.
Santa, it seems, is survived by a son but whether the junior Claus will follow in his father's footsteps is unknown.
I saw that too and thought it to be very silly for them to put that photo in the obituary section especially this time of year. What if a little kid saw it?
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