Goodbye, Doctor Quack

Well, folks, with a heavy heart, I said goodbye to Quack this morning. This was my last scheduled appointment with him before his retirement at the end of this year.


Now, Quack was everything you could want in a personal physician. Oh, he is smart, dual certified in internal medicine and non-invasive cardiology, and all that. What I like about him, however, is the stuff he didn't necessarily learn in medical school. He has an ability, for example, to know a great deal about the status of your health by just looking at you. That's how he correctly diagnosed my depression on the very first visit with him after other doctors had missed it for years.

Quack would also listen to you and what you had to say. I would go in with my list and we would go down it, discussing each item. Some he could fix and others he'd tell you to learn to live with.

Hell, he even laughed at my jokes and went along with my verbal jabs.

But, alas, after keeping me alive and well for more than a decade, he is headed to the mountains of North Carolina for a little R&R after 30 years of private practice. So it was that I sent him off with a wee nip of Alleghany County's finest corn squeezings and best wishes for a long and happy retirement, knowing full well that his beloved Cubbies will never win the World Series again.

On the way out, I collected by medical records, gave Shirley (the person who really ran the show) a big hug, and that was that.

I can only hope to develop as good and enjoyable a doctor-patient relationship with my next quack ... whoever that might prove to be.

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