Pinehurst Poop
The poop falls further in Pinehurst these days.
Seems that Large went down to help Talbeau install two new toilets today. It's not that anything was wrong with the toilets Talbeau already had. Nope. It's just that Talbeau decided he was having to bend his legs too much to poop these days and wanted a pair of something called "comfort height" toilets. So it was that Talbeau went down to Lowe's Home Center and spent $378 for a new pair of toilets that are exactly the same as the old toilets except — you may want to sit down for this — they have seats that are two inches higher above the floor than those old unfashionable, uncomfortable "standard height" toilets. Yup. Talbeau paid $94.50 an inch to enable the poop to fall 4 inches further in Pinehurst.
Now, the US economy is in a desperate state and I applaud Talbeau's unilateral efforts to stimulate it with the purchase of new toilet bowls. But, really, two new toilet bowls just to produce a little bigger splash?
I can only suggest that Talbeau crate up the two perfectly good "standard height" toilets and ship them off to India where one in three folks have no access to toilet facilities of any kind. Yes, the one in three who still poop on the streets, on the beaches, on any available public space would not mind that these used bowls were not of "comfort height". After all, more than 80% of the disease in India is caused by public pooping. Then again, maybe Talbeau could just sell the used bowl on Craig's List and send the proceeds to India where public toilet facilities for an entire village can be built for $230.
We can only wonder if and when Talbeau will replace the "comfort height" toilets with "handicap height" toilets. Yes, you guessed it, they are four inches higher than "standard height" bowls.
"A man's toilets are his thrones."
Seems that Large went down to help Talbeau install two new toilets today. It's not that anything was wrong with the toilets Talbeau already had. Nope. It's just that Talbeau decided he was having to bend his legs too much to poop these days and wanted a pair of something called "comfort height" toilets. So it was that Talbeau went down to Lowe's Home Center and spent $378 for a new pair of toilets that are exactly the same as the old toilets except — you may want to sit down for this — they have seats that are two inches higher above the floor than those old unfashionable, uncomfortable "standard height" toilets. Yup. Talbeau paid $94.50 an inch to enable the poop to fall 4 inches further in Pinehurst.
Now, the US economy is in a desperate state and I applaud Talbeau's unilateral efforts to stimulate it with the purchase of new toilet bowls. But, really, two new toilet bowls just to produce a little bigger splash?
I can only suggest that Talbeau crate up the two perfectly good "standard height" toilets and ship them off to India where one in three folks have no access to toilet facilities of any kind. Yes, the one in three who still poop on the streets, on the beaches, on any available public space would not mind that these used bowls were not of "comfort height". After all, more than 80% of the disease in India is caused by public pooping. Then again, maybe Talbeau could just sell the used bowl on Craig's List and send the proceeds to India where public toilet facilities for an entire village can be built for $230.
We can only wonder if and when Talbeau will replace the "comfort height" toilets with "handicap height" toilets. Yes, you guessed it, they are four inches higher than "standard height" bowls.
"A man's toilets are his thrones."
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